December 24, 2015 05:55 AM UTC

Mike Rosen's last regular show is today

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• by: Jason Salzman

In honor of Denver talk-radio host Mike Rosen’s last regular show (today at noon), I thought I’d offer you some jokes Rosen told in April on air. He said he wanted to give “equal time” to women.

Rosen: “There are the old clichéd blond jokes and other techniques at taking pot shots at women. This falls into the heading of equal time. Here’s a woman fighting back with some personal experiences.

He said to me, ‘I don’t know why you wear a bra. You’ve got nothing to put in it.’

I said to him, ‘You wear pants, don’t you?’ [pause]

He said to me, ‘Shall we try swapping positions tonight?’

I said to him, ‘That’s a good idea. You stand by the stove and sink, while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart.’ [pause]

He said to me, ‘What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?’

I said to him, ‘Why don’t you look sideways and look in the mirror?”  [pause]

He said to me, ‘Why don’t women blink during foreplay?”

I said to him, ‘They don’t have time.’  [pause]

He said to me, ‘How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?’

I said to him, ‘I don’t know. I don’t know. It’s never happened.’  [pause]

He said to me, ‘Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking.’

I said to him, ‘They already have boyfriends’  [pause]

He said to me, ‘What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?’

I said to him, “A widow.”  [pause]

He said to me, ‘Why are married women heavier than single women?’

I said to him, ‘Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed, and go to the fridge.”  [pause]

Equal time for women.

Obviously, most of these jokes are sexist against women, so presenting them as “equal time for women” makes no sense.

But that’s how Rosen was for about 30 years on KOA. You could disagree with him, or think he was rude or crazy or manipulative, but his facts were usually right. He was prepared and obviously worked hard on his show, which addressed serious policy issues day after day. He was provocative and smart, even if he was a partisan Republican.

And he was able to tone it done and be respectful during his monthly interviews over decades with Democratic and Republican governors and Denver mayors, who took questions from everyday listeners. This was a public service that everyone benefited from.

I’ll miss Rosen, and it will be good to hear him subbing every now and then when the regular hosts are gone.